Nightmares and Epiphanies
by Friendly Loner
Summary: A story about what it takes to get Tony and Pepper on the same page and in the same bed. Rated for future chapters. Movieverse. Starts darkish but ends in a good place, promise!
1. Chapter 1

This is a story that popped into my head this saturday and would _not_ let me concentrate on the second part of Shared Perspectives. So, thinking it was just a quick drabble sort of thing, I decided to jot it down and get it out of the way. Somehow it snowballed along the way, divided itself into parts and ate my word processor. This is Part one.

I own nothing and no one.

Tony Stark was having a nightmare

Tony Stark was having a nightmare. As his sweating body twisted in his bed sheets, his mind was back in the hellish cave where he'd been held in Afghanistan. Only this time there was no Yinsen, and it was no armored suit that he toiled on endlessly in the dank cavern. In this Afghanistan and this cave in his mind, the terrorists had Pepper and would kill her unless he built them the Jericho missile launcher.

Tony tried to wipe the sweat that was burning in his eyes away with one filthy hand as his other held the pieces of the modifications to one of his company's missiles in place so he could solder them together. Lightheaded from the fumes that would normally be vented away, but instead filled the cave; Tony tried to concentrate on the task at hand but found he could not summon his usual discipline for mechanical work. They had let him see her again that morning, chained up in a cell carved out in another section of the cave system that was the terrorist's main camp. She'd been even thinner than the last time they'd decided to "motivate" him, and a large purple bruise stained her cheek just under her right eye. Her face was pale and her eyes dull and exhausted; she didn't even look up at the sound Tony made as his guards thudded him up against the door to her prison. Forced to look at her through the bars of the small opening in the crude wooden door Tony tried to call out to her, to comfort her, tell her that somehow he would get them out of this, begged her to please just _look_ at him. But she never looked up and the guards dragged a fiercely struggling Tony Stark back to his own personal hell.

The bright sunlight of the desert blinded Tony after his months locked in the cave and his eyes streamed tears as they adjusted to the light of day. The prior evening Tony had finally completed the weapon he'd been forced to build for the terrorists. Today was to be the test of his work and the whole camp had been assembled to see the might and the fury of Tony Stark's Jericho. He hated himself for what he had done, but was thankful at least that soon Pepper would be free, even if she would hate him for building the Jericho even more than he did. Pepper….he twisted in the arms of his captors trying to catch a glimpse of her red head amongst the crowd milling in the canyon. Where was Pepper? Tony started to panic and struggle with the men holding him, craning his neck this way and that looking for her. Before he could find her he was being frog marched forward towards the assembled Jericho and the leader of the faction, who smiled at him in a way that made Tony want to lunge at him and beat him to the ground, but the men at his sides kept their grip on his arms bruising tight and he was helpless.

"I have decided to let you have the honor of being the first to fire the missiles you were so kind to build us." The leader's English was clipped and heavily accented. "And have even arranged a most attractive target." His smile was back and had turned into a vile, face splitting grin as Tony's heart plummeted into the ground. In the distance he could make out a petite figure in a full length blue dress that he knew without seeing, would be backless. 'O god, o god' repeated one part of Tony's consciousness while another just screamed _RUN_ at his motionless assistant. But Pepper didn't run. She didn't even _look_ at him as he went down flailing under a mass of men trying to keep him from running to her.

It took six men to beat him into submission and four to restrain him after. The leader turned the initiation key in the remote detonator for the Jericho and a little red LED on the top began to blink. The last two guards wrestled Tony's arm up, out and then down on the large red button on the detonator. Tony felt the button depress, heard it click and heard the hiss of the rocket taking off. Saw the explosion envelope the still motionless blue figure of Pepper Potts.

Tony Stark was having a nightmare and he woke up screaming.

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it and if you did, or even if you didn't and have constructive criticism please review. I would love to hear your thoughts. And hey, if anyone knows a good LJ community for this fandom I'd love to know what it is.


	2. Chapter 2

This is an oddball chapter, I had originally intended to switch off between Tony and Peppers perspectives for this story, but this is the only part that ended up with Peppers POV. Tony's side just sort of wrote itself, every time I meant to switch I would come up with something really good for him and just kept going. I thought about leaving this part aside and just making this from Tony's POV, but dammit I liked it and it gives insight for Pepper's actions later so... here it is.

And thanks for the alerts and reviews! I own nothing and no one.

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Pepper Potts was still up, she knew she should have gone to bed hours ago, but she had just finished writing up a set of reports on the purposes of the various departments of Stark Industries for Tony to review as part of his redirection of the company

Pepper Potts was still up, she knew she should have gone to bed hours ago, but she had just finished writing up a set of reports on the purposes of the various departments of Stark Industries for Tony to review as part of his redirection of the company. Now she relaxed; hair down, watching the muted glow of her television with her feet up on the coffee table and a slice of ice cream cake from her freezer. She kept the ice cream cake as a reward for herself, for finishing large projects for Mr. Stark or just getting through particularly trying days working with the world's most contrary man. Pepper ate a lot of ice cream cake. The stock ticker at the bottom of the screen had almost lulled her to sleep when she was jarred awake by the ringing of her blackberry.

**I'm terribly sorry to call you at this late hour Miss Potts, but Mr. Stark has had what I believe to be his worst nightmare since his return from Afghanistan this evening; I am concerned that if he is left unattended tonight he may do damage to himself.**

"I'll be right over Jarvis." Pepper flipped the phone shut and stood up. As she slipped back into her shoes she patted herself on the back for thinking to enlist the help of the AI in keeping an eye on the mental health of her recalcitrant boss. Tony would never admit to anyone, even her, that he was anything but fine. Jarvis on the other hand was constantly monitoring Stark's heart rate, body temp. and brain functions. Shoes on, Pepper snatched her purse off the kitchen counter and exited the penthouse condo Stark had insisted on providing her with, after she had made it through her first year of employment with him and had refused to move into guest suite in his mansion. Pepper had wanted to have physical boundaries between her work and her home life, the condo, which was only a ten minute drive from the mansion, had been Tony's attempt at compromise.

Six minutes later Pepper stood outside the doors to what was pretty much her second home and tried to compose herself. Ever since Stark's return from captivity her professional relationship with her employer had been steadily eroding and it had become harder and harder to maintain the detached yet affectionate demeanor that had served her so well in the past. It hadn't helped that she'd come to the reluctant realization that she was very much in love with the man that paid her salary. It was the night at the benefit that had done her in. Alone on the roof, after Stark's abandonment she had taken a good hard look at herself, shaken by how naturally she had leaned in and closed her eyes for Stark's kiss that never was. Add the aborted kiss to the desolation of the three months she had spent in the limbo of not knowing whether Stark was alive or dead in the desert; Divide the sum by the number of meaningful relationships (none. all the men she'd dated had given up, saying it was impossible to compete for her time with Stark as her boss) she'd had since she'd started working for the man and _x_ Love.

Pepper felt like she had been working with borrowed time; she'd been desperately trying to maintain the status quo with Tony, he was still her boss and she was still his employee after all. Even if he wasn't the same Tony Stark with a different woman on his arm and in his bed at least twice a week. All the momentary aberrations of not quite kisses on rooftops and the fact that he'd been living like a monk since his return did not a man in love make. And Pepper would rather a Tony Stark oblivious and in her life than a life with no Tony at all.

Deeming herself sufficiently composed Pepper entered the mansion. In the dim lighting she made her way to the entrance to Mr. Stark's basement workshop expecting to find him down there tinkering with some suit related project or another. She always knew when he'd had a nightmare if she arrived to work in the morning and found him feverishly modifying the suit and looking like death warmed over, instead of in bed sleeping in. These days it seemed she only found him sleeping in if he was sleeping off a hangover. Pepper was surprised to find that the workshop was still locked down for the night. Suppressing a worried lurch in her chest she set out to search for her boss in the rest of the mansion.

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Thanks again for the reviews I've already gotten, and please keep them coming!


	3. Chapter 3

This is actually parts 3 and 4 but I've put them together because some reviews wanted longer chapters and to be fair part 4 was a little too short anyways. grins See if you can guess where the break is! I bet you can! Thanks for the reviews and the advice.

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After screaming himself awake Tony had sat in the darkness of his bedroom panting and shaking

After screaming himself awake Tony had sat in the darkness of his bedroom panting and shaking. The only light was the dim glow of the arc reactor in his chest, Tony let the bluish light reassure him that it had really been Yinsen in the cave with him in Afghanistan and not Pepper. Even still, the last moments of the nightmare replayed over and over in his head, a thousand times he saw Pepper silhouetted in flames. God, he needed a drink. Tony snagged the knee length black silk robe that hung on one of his bed posts and wrapped it around himself as he made a beeline for the mini bar in the corner of his bed room. He poured himself a scotch and then contemplated the decanter in his hand for a moment, and, with a shrug he carried it and the glass with him and went out to the balcony to drink himself into oblivion.

Tony swirled the drink in his glass as he stared down at the waves crashing into the cliffs below his home and contemplated the unsolvable problem of Pepper Potts. Ever since he'd returned from Afghanistan it was as though things between the two of them just no longer fitted in the boxes of employer and employee and he had no idea what it meant or what to do about it, or even if anything should be done about it. It seemed like he was sure about nothing in his life anymore, what to do with Stark Industries, how to use his suit and now he was even questioning his relationship with the woman who was just supposed to be his assistant! It seemed like one moment he was pushing for more intimacy and the next backpedaling for fear of change. He felt like he was dissolving into a chaotic mass of conflicting unresolved issues with no outlet. He was loosing control and god damn but it scared him. He downed the rest of his drink, poured another and downed that one as well.

"Mr. Stark?" Tony turned as Pepper stepped out onto the balcony "Are you all right? Jarvis called and…" She trailed off as she took in the sight of him in his robe and nothing else and quickly snapped her eyes up and looked pointedly over his left shoulder and continued talking, though Tony had stopped listening as soon as she had done so. He'd seen her do the left shoulder thing a thousand times in the past, it was what she did whenever she caught him less than fully clothed. Her way of dealing professionally with a boss who could and did get up to anything, he supposed. But tonight he just couldn't handle her detachment; it was too much like the way the Pepper his nightmare had been right before she'd….

"Stop it." He rasped; voice hoarse from screaming earlier. Interrupted in mid sentence Pepper snapped her mouth shut in surprise at his vehemence. She looked hurt and Tony cursed himself for a fool. "Please," he tried more gently this time "I just need you to look me in the eye. I can't take this…" he waved his hand in the space over his left shoulder "-right now" She looked embarrassed for a moment and dropped her eyes to the ground as she flushed. Tony watched her with bated breath as she seemed to study her feet for a moment before looking up again, this time meeting his gaze. Their eyes locked and Tony drank in the sight of her, wearing the suit from the day before, but with her copper hair loose, bits of it drifting into her face in the wind. God, but she was beautiful. It was the worry and compassion naked in her blue eyes undid him though. He was so tired of holding everything in, only to have it come out in such tortured forms, like his nightmare earlier in the evening. A guttural cry tore from his throat and he strode across the balcony to Pepper, to fold her into an embrace like a man drowning.

He buried his face in her neck as she stood frozen in shock, her arms limp at her side. Strands of her hair tickled his face, moving as he breathed. He felt her arms lift and then trembling hands laid themselves across his back, holding him. He let out a tremendous breath and only as he relaxed did he realize how tense he'd been, fearing her rejection. He luxuriated in the comforting embrace that he'd so desperately yet unknowingly needed. He breathed in the soft vanilla scent of her and as the world dropped away around him in one unguarded moment he knew that he loved her.

Tony Stark knew what it was like to be standing next to a bomb when it went off. Apparently it felt a lot like realizing you loved someone. Tony jerked upright as the realization hit him and stared blindly ahead in shock He loved Pepper. He had _always_ loved Pepper but he'd been too closed off to know it. Suddenly things were becoming clearer; why he'd thought he heard her calling his name while the terrorists had tortured him. How she managed to outlast all her predecessors when, until her, he'd either grown bored with his assistants and fired them or slept with them and then fired them. Finally something in his haphazard excuse for a life was making sense. He felt ecstatic! He felt amazing! He felt like a complete ass for loving the incredible woman in his arms for years and not having had the sense to know it.

Tony came back to reality as he felt Pepper pulling herself out of his grip, she had misinterpreted his pulling away from her and sudden intense silence as rejection. He tuned in as she was halfway into a sentence.

"…so sorry Mr. Stark, this was completely unprofessional of me, I don't know what I was thinking…You have every right to be angry with me, sir," She was babbling as she backed away from him and towards the door to the balcony. It was the last thing she said and the tearful look of mortification on her face that shook Tony into moving again. He quickly closed the distance that had grown between them and once more caught her hand in his. He looked down at her; the confusion in her eyes was slowly beginning to give way to anger. He blurted the first thing that came to his mind.

"Please don't go."

"Mr. Stark-Tony, I don't understand, what is going on with you?"

"I..." How do you tell a woman who has been loyal to you beyond all calls of duty or even reason that you've loved her for years and only just figured it out now? Hell, he didn't even know if she returned his feelings. He looked down at her and remembered the last time they'd been this close; she'd closed her eyes and leaned in as though it was the most natural thing in the world. He'd pulled away then, confused by the intensity and complexity of his feelings and afraid of them and the changes they represented. He'd run away then, supposedly for martini's, but not before he'd seen the disappointment flash across Pepper's face with humiliation close on its heels. She'd managed to compose herself before he allowed himself the chance to reconsider though, and he'd left her. She had to care for him, or else why that night. Why any night for that matter, why would she have stayed with a ne'er do well like him all these years. Surely she loved him? Tony searched futilely for words to express himself and had nothing.

"O fuck it."

He kissed her.

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Only one more chapter to go, this ones only half done though so it may be a while. Trying to write the M stuff is gettin me all flustered, could take a while. Thanks for all the LJ recommendations too, I just joined TonyPepper but since I haven't used my LJ in 3 years and have never posted to communities before, I will probably lurk for a bit before posting any of these. Thanks again for reviewing!

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	4. Omake!

I just want to apologize for the wait for the next chapter! The reviews have been wonderful, and thanks to everyone who alerted this fic. I've had some computer trouble in the last few weeks, but the next chapter is going to be retrieved in the next few days and hopefully up on the weekend. As an apology for the wait I wrote this...thing...

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Tony leaned on the railing of the balcony adjacent to the living room and listened to the furious typing and muttering emanating from indoors. He ruefully rubbed his red and swollen check. Sometimes he just didn't know when to keep his own damn mouth shut. He grinned, the expression on her face...

"_So when's it my turn to put my hand in your gooey hole?"_

...was totally worth it.

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Thanks again for your forbearance!


	5. Chapter 4

Again, so sorry for the long wait for an update, between this chapter and the last there has been a fried computer and router, a new laptop, two straight weeks of twelve hour days, sunburns, eye infections and yes, even and god damn flood. Nothing like a massive karmic bitchslap to throw off your productivity. But without further ado...

I own nothing and no one.

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Kissing Pepper Potts was the best thing that Tony Stark had ever done. her lips were warm, soft and teasingly sweet. One hand still holding hers, the other drifted up to cup the side of her face, thumb caressing her freckled cheek as his fingertips buried themselves in her hair. Tony's heart was soaring, the kiss was fantastic! Incredible! Indescribable! Painful.

With a yelp Tony leaped back, rubbing the tender spot on his face where Pepper had slapped him.

"What the _hell_ is wrong with you?!" Pepper was so furious she was visibly shaking "What the hell do you think I am? Some new kind of play thing for you? Intimate one moment and abandoned the next?"

"No, I-"

"You tell me I'm "all you've got" but you never once stop to consider my feelings!"

"Pepper, its just that I-"

"I can't take much more of this Tony! Do you have any _idea_ what this emotional slip and slide has been _doing_ to me?"

"Please, if you would just let me tell you-"

"So I'll ask you just once more Tony Stark, what the _hell_ is going on here?"

"- I love you."

Tony couldn't help but smile faintly at the pole axed expression on Peppers face. She glared at him.

"This isn't funny."

"I'm not laughing." He wasn't, he was utterly terrified that she wouldn't believe him. And judging from the way her face was closing off from him, she didn't.

"You can't love me. Your actions are not the actions of a man in love." She spoke with a tight, flat tone through her clenched teeth. Her fists were balled so tight Tony could see pale knuckles peeking up at him. It looked as though Pepper was holding back as much raw emotion as he was.

Tony sighed. She was right, from her perspective it would seem as though he'd just been toying with her all this time. He had to explain things, even if he was in too much turmoil to be eloquent, he might not get another chance to make things right.

"I've been confused. Am confused? Was confused. Until a moment ago I didn't know that I loved you. …Have loved you... For years I think. Just been too self-centered to notice, I guess. But I definitely love you. There's so little else I can be sure about, its good to be sure about something like love.

Tony stumbled to a verbal halt, hoping he hadn't made an ass of himself with his babble. Wondered briefly what had happened to the suave, glib Tony Stark who'd had all the right answers and where this new platitude expelling dork had had come from. He glanced at Pepper for the first time since his attempt to explain himself. She was shaking her head helplessly.

"This is just… too much for me to deal with right now Tony; I don't even know where to begin. Or even what to believe anymore." Pepper exhaled and to Tony it looked as though she were deflating. "I think it might be best if I were to go home now, Sir."

So that was it. His one shot at love, realized too late and over too soon. He nodded numbly to Pep- his assistant and moved with the jerky motions of an automaton to the balcony door and held it open for her. His face felt like a mask as he tried to wear a look of cool nonchalance to spare her from seeing the despair seething within him. He must not have done a very good job though because Pepper – dammit! – His assistant paused before stepping through the door and looked up into his eyes for a moment and the remote expression on her face softened.

"O fuck it."

Tony barely had time to register shock at the profanity that had spilled from Peppers lips before they were crushed into his own. Tony felt like he'd been struck by lightening, he was frozen for a moment, unsure how to respond. Then all his doubts seemed to slip away from him, shedding like a skin that had been far too tight for far too long. He let the door to the balcony fall closed and applied himself with joyful abandonment to the soft mouth locked with his. Their first kiss had been fairly chaste; this second one was anything but.

Surprisingly it was Tony who broke the kiss first, pulling away with a gasp and staring at Pepper in amazement as he caught his breath.

"Don't tell me you're having second thoughts!"

Tony started and looked down at Pepper; and seeing her tentative smile, realized she'd been making a joke. It finally hit Stark: This was happening. This was _really_ happening. Suddenly his hibernating libido roared to life, drowning his rational thought in a swamp of long suppressed desire.

"Never." He growled, as he pushed her back against the glass wall of windows and began a thorough exploration of the sweet mouth that had tempted him for so long. He buried one hand in her silky copper hair and cupped the back of her neck to hold her close to him and gripped her hip with the other, rubbing the softness of her belly with his thumb, she trembled a bit when he brushed over a particularly good spot and Tony made a mental note of it. Pepper had caught his robe in both hands when she'd pulled him in for the kiss; now she left one still tangled in the silk and tentatively slid the other under the collar of Tony's robe, it came to rest on the muscles where his shoulder met his neck. Her warm hand on his wind chilled skin felt like a little brand and sent a shiver crawling up his spine. The shock of it made Tony tear his mouth away from Peppers with a grunt of surprise.

Opening his eyes he snuck a peek at the delectable woman he had pinned between himself and the wall; her eyes were still shut and she was panting, her breath coming in quick little gasps. He took deep breaths, trying to calm his racing heart and still the urgency of his need for her. He would take this all the way tonight if he could, but only if Pepper wanted it. He loved her too much to screw this up by moving to quickly and he would lose everything that made his life worth living if he scared her off. He closed his eyes and continued breathing deep, quelling the part of him that was demanding that he rip her clothes apart and have her right then, up against the windows. Finally he managed to silence his more bestial instincts and opened his eyes once more.

The struggle, which seemed to have lasted an eternity must have taken less than the blink of an eye, Pepper's eyes were still closed and she was only just starting to get her breathing back under control. 'Not for long' Tony thought smugly as he leaned in for the next round, this time just brushing his mouth gently across hers. He felt Peppers lips smile against his own and gave her a quick peck before trailing kisses along her jaw to her neck, and from there down, finding all the best places to apply just the right amount of pressure to. She was breathing heavily again. He nibbled on a particularly good spot and she moaned softly and fingers of the hand still on his shoulder dug into the muscle. Her other hand was on the move now, slipping inside his robe to rest on the arc reactor briefly before curling fingers around the edge of the device as if she sought to pull his heart closer to her own.

Tony had made his way to the base of her neck by this point and was kissing the skin just inside of the collar of Pepper's blouse. Happy to let the trail end there, he began retracing his way back up her neck when she moaned and moved into him, her hand on his shoulder guiding him downwards again. Tony caught his breath in surprise for a moment, but then, emboldened by Pepper's encouragment he untangled his left hand from her hair and let it follow the trail of his kisses down her neck and into the top of her shirt. Fingertips ghosting across her skin, he slowly slid his hand along her collerbone, pulling fabric away from flesh as he went. Through the thin silk of his robe Tony could feel the buttons of Pepper's shirt giving way to pressure and popping undone one by one. When he got to the strap of her bra Tony slid his fingers beneath it and kept going, sliding it and her blouse over her arm, leaving her shoulder and the top of her chest bare on one side. In the wake of his hand Pepper's exposed skin errupted in goosebumps, but where Tony's hand went his mouth was soon to follow, breath warming her skin smooth again.

The hand that had been on Tonys shoulder was now caught in his hair, as were Pepper's lips as she kissed the top of his head. Tony closed his eyes, sighed and zoned out on the wave of bliss that swept over him from this simple gesture of returned affection. For a long moment he stood leaning into her with his forhead cradled on her shoulder happy just to hold and be held.

An enquiring noise, followed by a gentle tug on his hair brought him out of his reverie. Tony pressed one last kiss to Pepper's chest and then raised his head to meet her curious gaze. Her pupils were dilated and her eyes implored him to continue, she tugged again at his hair. Tony smiled a sweeter version of his usual smirk as he took in the sight of his debauched assistant. Her cheeks were flushed and her lips half parted and swollen. There was a rapidly darkening line of marks leading down one side of her neck with yet more gracing her shoulder and chest. Her shirt had come undone down to her navel and parts of her lace bra could be seen peeking out here and there. There was another insistant tug on his hair and Tony raked his eyes back up to Pepper's face.

"So sorry," He murmered. "where were we?"

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So it turns out this isn't the last chapter after all. Go figure. There's at least one more apparently waiting in the wings.

Thanks for all the reviews and alerts so far! I look forward to more! This was my first attempt at real dialog and I would love to hear feed back about it.


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